ARGGHH!

Really up against it today. I’m in the middle of a divorce and still living in the basement of the house while the haters live like there’s nothing going on. I’m so filled with anxiety right now and it’s almost crippling.

God is keeping me here for some reason besides patience because He keeps taking things away that I used to deal with last two plus years.

Now my car is not drivable and I can’t afford to fix it because my disability back pay is still not been approved. I’ve lived on $120 a week to buy gas, cigarettes and food. My wife decided that she would not be able to pay for food for me. I have been systematically eliminated from my family.

Don’t get me wrong, I was a drunk and pain pill addict for decades and she stayed in it for 25 years . I put everyone through hell by growing ever self abuse. I didn’t figure out why until I almost died. God started revealing things to me and I honestly thought I was crazy. Not going crazy, crazy! My sobriety date is November 1st, 2023 and there has been no peace, no smoothness in life, only loses of jobs and family members. When God saved my life, He changed my heart and my intent in life and put joy in my heart. I had preconceived ideas of what God’s plans were for my life by giving me a good job, I had moved back into my house to try and piece my life together. So much for what I know about God’s plans. I got seriously ill, lost that job because of it and have continued being vilified by my family. Huh!